Okay, so here I am ready to just spill. Thing's have been so overwhelming lately. I am starting to get the impending doom feeling. Basically, over the last few day's I have gone from a little bit of confidence to none. How? I have no idea. I am trying to figure out how the hell I am going to make this work. I am 14 weeks pregnant and only have a bouncer and a highchair... I don't currently have any income coming my way because my doctor has officially put me on the beloved bed rest. I basically just get to sit here and be a bum. I hate it because it leaves me way to much time to think. I can't keep busy enough to let myself back to sanity. I get migraines 5 times a week. I have a rash that can't be determined by any doctor. I just don't know. There is so much I could freak out about at the moment. I don't even know where to start.
I am thinking that it would be good to write this because all my readers might have some sort of idea on what could help before I literally die! I have convinced myself that for some reason god thinks I am some "power woman" that can concur anything. So much so that within the last two years I really can't name one really amazing thing that has happened to me. It is just full of crazy chaos. One problem after another. Honestly guy's I know I am still young and may not have all this figured out. Is this really all life is? Is there nothing more then struggle and a few drinks to make it all feel better? (when your not pregnant of course.) People always say it gets easier but I haven't even seen one glimpse of the happy side. I haven't seen the top of this mountain so I'm not so sure it even exists. Yeah sure this may be my hormones taking over but it may just be that I've reached the point where I am going to lay on the floor kicking and screaming until I feel better.
I am at a point in my life where it is do or die. If things fall through and plans don't work out I am completely screwed. There is no point in even trying after this. I am sure you all could imagine this is scary as hell! I am walking on egg shells. Ugh... I could go on but I think you all get the idea. This is how I am feeling at the moment. Who of my readers possibly knows what I could do to concur this and somehow come out on top. I am hoping someone does. I am sorry for the negativity but this is my way out. Open to the world and there thoughts and idea's. It's the whole point of my blog. Thanks all for reading I hope you all enjoy.
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